1 00:00:00,471 --> 00:00:03,631 (upbeat techno music) 2 00:00:07,151 --> 00:00:10,931 ♪ This country is the best around ♪ 3 00:00:11,031 --> 00:00:14,091 ♪ You can be what you want to be ♪ 4 00:00:14,191 --> 00:00:17,651 ♪ It's got great infrastructure ♪ 5 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,371 ♪ And a top economy ♪ 6 00:00:21,471 --> 00:00:24,571 ♪ You can make it as a movie star ♪ 7 00:00:24,671 --> 00:00:27,851 ♪ A swimmer or a gymnast ♪ 8 00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:31,451 ♪ It's a land of opportunity ♪ 9 00:00:31,551 --> 00:00:36,551 ♪ If you want to start a small business, small business ♪ 10 00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:43,271 (train rumbling) 11 00:00:50,991 --> 00:00:53,831 (train whooshing) 12 00:00:58,952 --> 00:01:00,952 - Mitcham! 13 00:01:02,712 --> 00:01:05,552 (train whirring) 14 00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,352 Nunawading! 15 00:01:26,592 --> 00:01:27,652 - Blackburn 16 00:01:27,752 --> 00:01:29,752 - Blackburn. 17 00:01:31,072 --> 00:01:33,212 Thanks. 18 00:01:33,312 --> 00:01:34,052 (train whirring) 19 00:01:34,152 --> 00:01:37,612 (relaxing smooth music) 20 00:01:37,712 --> 00:01:39,712 - Uh-huh, uh-huh. 21 00:01:41,432 --> 00:01:44,472 No, no, no, no I'm in the kitchen, Kate. 22 00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:49,072 Well its a galley kitchen, that's why its a bit echoey. 23 00:01:50,993 --> 00:01:52,733 Well I'm cooking corn 24 00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,373 and I've just dropped a big ear in the pan 25 00:01:54,473 --> 00:01:57,053 so that's what that was. 26 00:01:57,153 --> 00:02:00,733 So yeah, you'd be the senior journalist, 27 00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:02,133 which would look pretty good wouldn't it. 28 00:02:02,233 --> 00:02:04,613 Kate Gluscam, senior journalist because. 29 00:02:04,713 --> 00:02:06,173 - Sorry what did you say the name 30 00:02:06,273 --> 00:02:07,853 of the paper was again Don? 31 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,093 - Ah, its the Lower Croydon News. 32 00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:12,853 The news of the city of Lower Croydon. 33 00:02:12,953 --> 00:02:13,693 - Oh okay. 34 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:17,413 - It's a monthly, high quality publication Kate. 35 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,893 We've got a circulation of about 20,000 36 00:02:20,993 --> 00:02:24,333 which means I've got a readership of almost 60,000 37 00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:28,453 according to our market research, so yeah, 38 00:02:28,553 --> 00:02:30,453 we're actually not that far behind The Age, 39 00:02:30,553 --> 00:02:31,653 in terms of reach. 40 00:02:31,753 --> 00:02:34,053 Kate, we really, really aren't. 41 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:39,153 Plus we've got a host of other, boutique publications 42 00:02:39,753 --> 00:02:41,733 so its pretty exciting times in here 43 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,893 and a great place for a young woman. 44 00:02:43,993 --> 00:02:45,653 - I do have some questions, Don. 45 00:02:45,754 --> 00:02:48,574 - I don't know how you placed reference commitments Kate, 46 00:02:48,674 --> 00:02:51,334 but I've got a couple of windows this afternoon 47 00:02:51,434 --> 00:02:53,734 that you could possibly climb through for an interview 48 00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:56,454 because play your cards right and by this evening 49 00:02:56,554 --> 00:02:59,214 you could be senior journalist at World Wide Business group. 50 00:02:59,314 --> 00:03:01,334 - What sort of salary were you offering, Don? 51 00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:05,414 - Well, initially the company is offering $15 per hour. 52 00:03:05,514 --> 00:03:06,254 (Kate scoffs) 53 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,614 But down the track we're. 54 00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:11,014 (dial tone buzzes) 55 00:03:11,114 --> 00:03:13,114 Well, stay at bloody Marie Claire then. 56 00:03:13,954 --> 00:03:15,454 Shit. 57 00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:17,094 (phone ringing) 58 00:03:17,194 --> 00:03:19,194 Don Angel, World Wide Business Group. 59 00:03:21,314 --> 00:03:23,534 Railway Union Monthly, Pete Mandela 60 00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:26,174 - [Janet] It's Janet Wilson from Wilson Woodwind and Brass. 61 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,054 - Oh how are you Janet, how's business? 62 00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:29,574 - Oh, we've had better months. 63 00:03:29,674 --> 00:03:30,974 - Glad to hear it. 64 00:03:31,074 --> 00:03:31,974 - Look this article 65 00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:33,774 that's been written with my advertisement. 66 00:03:33,874 --> 00:03:34,614 - Yup. 67 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,654 - Where is it? 68 00:03:35,754 --> 00:03:38,174 - Oh Janet, you've got to be joking me, 69 00:03:38,274 --> 00:03:41,784 I, in fact sent that off in an email to you couple days ago. 70 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:45,655 - Pete, I think I'm just not gonna worry about it. 71 00:03:45,755 --> 00:03:46,575 - [Don] Oh come on Janet, 72 00:03:46,675 --> 00:03:48,615 you've gotta spend money to make money. 73 00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:50,215 - In Railway Union Monthly? 74 00:03:50,315 --> 00:03:52,655 - Well I'm trying to grow your business there darling 75 00:03:52,755 --> 00:03:55,135 I mean, how much is a new flute? 76 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,895 - About two and a half thousand 77 00:03:56,995 --> 00:03:57,775 - And the ad's 500, 78 00:03:57,875 --> 00:04:00,175 I mean you only need one railway worker 79 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:02,175 to buy himself a new flute and you're a couple grand up 80 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,855 and actually look there it is in my outbox Janet, 81 00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:07,235 sent Tuesday, 3:43pm. 82 00:04:08,675 --> 00:04:10,375 - How 'bout a major scale? 83 00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:12,455 Well you may have sent it but it's not here. 84 00:04:12,555 --> 00:04:13,295 - May have? 85 00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:14,735 Sorry Janet what are you saying? 86 00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:17,415 - No, I just meant that its not here, that's all. 87 00:04:17,515 --> 00:04:21,655 - Well look I don't know which bozo ISP you're with but, 88 00:04:21,755 --> 00:04:23,535 look, I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll send it again now okay. 89 00:04:23,635 --> 00:04:27,375 Jesus Christ, look Janet 90 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:28,675 I think you're gonna be pretty happy with it, okay? 91 00:04:28,755 --> 00:04:30,215 - No I haven't got anything. 92 00:04:30,315 --> 00:04:32,375 - Yup I don't think they're instantaneous Janet, 93 00:04:32,475 --> 00:04:33,415 it'll be there in a minute or two. 94 00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:34,615 All right then Janet? 95 00:04:34,715 --> 00:04:35,455 - [Janet] It's not here? 96 00:04:35,556 --> 00:04:38,076 - It will be, too easy, bye now Janet, bye bye. 97 00:04:39,156 --> 00:04:39,856 Yes mate? 98 00:04:39,956 --> 00:04:41,656 - Are you World Wide Business Group? 99 00:04:41,756 --> 00:04:44,376 - This is World Wide Business Group, yup. 100 00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,936 - I'm just dropping off my curriculum vitae in relation 101 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,456 to the position of journalist. 102 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,016 - By all means. 103 00:04:50,116 --> 00:04:52,976 I need to take a day off to read them all but. 104 00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:55,216 - What? 105 00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:57,316 - Come in. 106 00:04:58,076 --> 00:05:00,076 Don Angel. 107 00:05:01,516 --> 00:05:02,296 - Ray. 108 00:05:02,396 --> 00:05:03,336 - Nice to meet you Ray. 109 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,976 - Nice to meet you. 110 00:05:05,076 --> 00:05:06,936 This is the document in question. 111 00:05:07,036 --> 00:05:09,916 - Okay, Ray Leonard Leonard. 112 00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:16,896 Born 17, five, '57, yes, right so, happy birthday. 113 00:05:16,996 --> 00:05:17,736 - Yes. 114 00:05:17,836 --> 00:05:20,016 - Right, so happy birthday. 115 00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:22,116 - Yes. - Okay. 116 00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,556 Big one tonight then? 117 00:05:26,316 --> 00:05:28,316 - Usual size. 118 00:05:29,716 --> 00:05:32,716 - All right, tell me a bit about yourself, please Ray? 119 00:05:33,797 --> 00:05:34,577 - Well its all in there. 120 00:05:34,677 --> 00:05:37,277 - Yup, just, can you put it into words there, please. 121 00:05:40,077 --> 00:05:44,217 - Well I worked for two years at the Daily Telegraph. 122 00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:46,577 Then two years at The Bulletin. 123 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,977 I took a year off to write a book and then 124 00:05:50,077 --> 00:05:51,137 the following 12 years 125 00:05:51,237 --> 00:05:53,237 I was feature writer at The Australian. 126 00:05:54,357 --> 00:05:59,357 - No worries, but we do Footy Inquest, The Railway Union Monthly 127 00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:02,737 Feelin' Great Magazine, The Lower Croydon News 128 00:06:02,837 --> 00:06:04,997 and Music, Music, Music, Music. 129 00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:08,817 - Should that not just be Music, Music, Music? 130 00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,857 - Its a printers error, first issue. 131 00:06:10,957 --> 00:06:12,957 So, I stuck with it. 132 00:06:14,117 --> 00:06:16,137 - Which one of those would I be writing for? 133 00:06:16,237 --> 00:06:19,097 - Well the successful applicant would oversee 134 00:06:19,197 --> 00:06:22,177 all publications within the World Wide Group 135 00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:25,397 - Because, I just. (phone rings) 136 00:06:26,798 --> 00:06:29,098 - Congratulations on choosing World Wide Business group, 137 00:06:29,198 --> 00:06:30,778 you're talking with Don Angel. 138 00:06:30,878 --> 00:06:33,058 - It's Tony from Tony's Print Solutions. 139 00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:34,018 - Tony, how are you? 140 00:06:34,118 --> 00:06:35,218 How's the family? 141 00:06:35,318 --> 00:06:36,378 - I haven't got time for that shit. 142 00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:37,218 - Glad to hear it. 143 00:06:37,318 --> 00:06:38,658 - Two things, number one, 144 00:06:38,758 --> 00:06:39,818 what's happening with this copy 145 00:06:39,918 --> 00:06:41,818 for Wilson's Woodwind and Brass? 146 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,858 I'm assuming you don't want a huge hole on page 12, 147 00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:46,858 well I've got other jobs backing up now 148 00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,698 so, you know, I've told you this last time 149 00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:50,978 I'm losing money if the pressers aren't rolling. 150 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,298 - Don't soil yourself there mate, it's all under control. 151 00:06:53,398 --> 00:06:55,938 I will fill your hole this afternoon. 152 00:06:56,038 --> 00:06:57,378 - A word, knobhead. 153 00:06:57,478 --> 00:06:58,858 - If it's not sorted by four o'clock, 154 00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:00,178 I'm pulling the whole thing off. 155 00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:01,258 And the way things are looking, 156 00:07:01,358 --> 00:07:02,978 you're not getting back on for six days. 157 00:07:03,078 --> 00:07:06,558 Oh, and second, pay me you bastard. 158 00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:14,078 - Okay Tony, yes, oh it's gotta be the dogs, isn't it? 159 00:07:14,678 --> 00:07:16,538 Okay mate, catch ya, bye. 160 00:07:16,638 --> 00:07:19,098 - 13th of the fourth, 1100 dollars cash advance 161 00:07:19,198 --> 00:07:20,138 to World Wide Business. 162 00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:23,139 25th of the fourth, 750 dollars cash advance 163 00:07:23,239 --> 00:07:24,099 to World Wide Business. 164 00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,339 Oh 13th of the fourth, sorry madam, 165 00:07:26,439 --> 00:07:28,379 your card's been rejected. 166 00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:30,499 - You're the primary cardholder. 167 00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:31,379 - Need you to pay this off. 168 00:07:31,479 --> 00:07:34,079 - If I had a dollar for every time, you'd said that. 169 00:07:35,599 --> 00:07:36,979 It would not help in the slightest. 170 00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:38,379 - Come on you know this is the card 171 00:07:38,479 --> 00:07:40,019 that I use to feed the kids. 172 00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:41,859 - Oh feed the kids, please, 173 00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:43,579 at least these are legit business expenses. 174 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:44,419 (woman scoffs) 175 00:07:44,519 --> 00:07:46,619 Not another tattoo on your arse. 176 00:07:46,719 --> 00:07:48,539 - Look its $130 minimum payment 177 00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:50,499 or neither of us gets to use it. 178 00:07:50,599 --> 00:07:52,859 - Railway Union Monthly, due to the pressures of business, 179 00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,019 I'm unable to take your call 180 00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:55,779 but leave your name and number and I'll get back to you. 181 00:07:55,879 --> 00:07:57,059 Well I've only got 100. 182 00:07:57,159 --> 00:07:58,619 As soon as possible. 183 00:07:58,719 --> 00:07:59,699 - Pay slag him for 30. 184 00:07:59,799 --> 00:08:00,659 - He's here for a job interview. 185 00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:01,939 - [Janet] Look, it's Janet Wilson again. 186 00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:03,499 - Looks like he just got out of jail. 187 00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:05,459 - [Janet] Will you give it a rest? - I want the rest tomorrow. 188 00:08:05,559 --> 00:08:07,179 - [Janet] That email has not arrived, 189 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,899 I've checked with my ISP and they assure me 190 00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:11,139 that they are not bozos 191 00:08:11,239 --> 00:08:13,739 and that no problems have been reported with their system 192 00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:16,699 in the last 72 hours so they say the problem must be 193 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,800 at your end, thank you. 194 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,600 - What's your phone manner like? 195 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,660 - Well. 196 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,940 - Okay, well here's the deal. 197 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,860 I've stitched up Wilson Woodwind and Brass 198 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,380 for a half-page ad in the Railway Union Monthly. 199 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,500 Now, with every half-page ad, 200 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,460 you get a free editorial with it 201 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:44,140 so what I need you to do is to get dirty Janet Wilson 202 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,980 on the blower, see what she wants to push, 203 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,340 get some key phrases off her 204 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,120 and knock up 250 words on it, kapish? 205 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,660 - So I've got the job? 206 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,140 - Well, let's learn how to crawl 207 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,780 before we start talking about doing the City2Surf, yep? 208 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,340 Look, I'll fix you up with cash and I need this 209 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:03,760 by four o'clock so let's say $12 an hour. 210 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,460 - $36? 211 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,560 - Yeah, roughly. 212 00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:13,261 - Yep. 213 00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:16,461 (paper crunching) 214 00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:17,301 - That's her. 215 00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:19,661 So knock yourself out. 216 00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:21,781 Oh, and if she asks about an email, 217 00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:24,501 the computer has crashed, okay? 218 00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:25,821 And she'll probably call me Pete 219 00:09:25,921 --> 00:09:27,861 but don't worry about it. 220 00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:29,621 You want a cup of tea? 221 00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:31,221 - Yeah. - Yep. 222 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,321 50 cents. 223 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:38,021 Do you want me to take it out of your pay? 224 00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:39,181 - Yeah. 225 00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:41,901 - Okay, so that's 35.50. 226 00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:43,501 - Okay. - Okay. 227 00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:45,601 Too easy. 228 00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:53,641 (phone beeping) 229 00:09:57,521 --> 00:10:00,501 ♪ Go on Norman, go ♪ 230 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,281 - Janet, it's Ray Leonard here. 231 00:10:04,561 --> 00:10:07,461 No, no, no, I've moved on. 232 00:10:07,562 --> 00:10:10,842 No I'm with the Railway Union Monthly now. 233 00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:14,622 Look, I'm just putting together your editorial 234 00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:16,182 for our next issue. 235 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,302 - But Pete told me he'd emailed that already. 236 00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:23,782 - Yeah, well, unfortunately the computer crashed so. 237 00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,262 - So it just sucked the email back out 238 00:10:26,362 --> 00:10:27,662 of the computer? 239 00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:28,942 - How do you have it? 240 00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,822 - Strong black. 241 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,262 Sorry. 242 00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:35,262 My first thought was to draw some sort of analogy 243 00:10:35,362 --> 00:10:37,902 with John Coltrane's quest. 244 00:10:38,002 --> 00:10:38,742 As they call it 245 00:10:38,842 --> 00:10:42,502 and say a potential customer's musical development. 246 00:10:42,602 --> 00:10:44,962 Would that sound like the sort of thing that. 247 00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:48,182 Price blowout? 248 00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:49,822 - A trumpet price blowout. 249 00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,262 - Trumpet price blowout. 250 00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:53,782 - And I want you to work the season in too. 251 00:10:53,882 --> 00:10:56,782 - What, a reference to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons"? 252 00:10:56,882 --> 00:10:59,702 - No, autumn sale. 253 00:10:59,802 --> 00:11:01,802 - Autumn sale, uh-huh. 254 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:07,863 Prices falling like leaves, yep. 255 00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:09,103 - And don't forget the trumpets. 256 00:11:09,203 --> 00:11:12,263 - Trumpets, price blowout, yes I've got that. 257 00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:13,983 Yes, I have written that down, yeah. 258 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,863 - And I'll need that by two. 259 00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:19,783 - By two, oh, I don't know if. 260 00:11:19,883 --> 00:11:21,583 - Are you all right with that? 261 00:11:21,683 --> 00:11:24,903 - Yep, yep, I'll have it to you as close to two 262 00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:27,563 as I can or by two, yes. 263 00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:30,543 Thank you Janet. 264 00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:32,643 Thank you. 265 00:11:34,723 --> 00:11:36,723 - Fancy going Dutch on a chook? 266 00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:38,903 - Yeah, all right. 267 00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:42,123 - So what, 10 bucks each? 268 00:11:43,923 --> 00:11:45,923 Take it outta your pay? 269 00:11:46,763 --> 00:11:49,923 So that's 25.50. 270 00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,224 Do you like the stuffing? 271 00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,324 - Yes, thank you. 272 00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:09,364 - Excuse me. 273 00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:12,084 There you go. 274 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:30,244 So Ray, what have you been doing since The Australian, hm? 275 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,044 - Nothing. 276 00:12:38,084 --> 00:12:40,084 I haven't worked for six years. 277 00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:43,004 I've been ill. 278 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,904 (phone beeping) 279 00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:49,824 (phone rings) 280 00:12:49,924 --> 00:12:51,934 - Bad cold was it or? 281 00:12:53,485 --> 00:12:54,905 - Chronic fatigue. 282 00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,425 - Oh, yuppie flu. 283 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,525 I was close. 284 00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:02,845 - Woke up one morning and just couldn't get out of bed. 285 00:13:04,725 --> 00:13:06,665 - [Julia] Ron Grealy Accountants, Julia speaking. 286 00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:09,305 - Oh hello Julia, it's James White here 287 00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:11,545 from Music, Music, Music, Music. 288 00:13:11,645 --> 00:13:13,265 Could I speak to Ron please? 289 00:13:13,365 --> 00:13:15,145 - What's it in regard to, James? 290 00:13:15,245 --> 00:13:17,385 - It's in regards to Music, Music, Music, Music. 291 00:13:17,485 --> 00:13:18,625 - Is that four musics? 292 00:13:18,725 --> 00:13:20,725 - Yes, four. 293 00:13:22,765 --> 00:13:24,705 - He's having a look at something at the moment, 294 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,185 I'll just see if he's available. 295 00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:28,285 - Thanking you, Julia. 296 00:13:28,805 --> 00:13:32,345 Actually, that is a very, very nice use of spot color. 297 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,545 Who else has got a red and white flag? 298 00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:36,065 The Red Cross. 299 00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:38,025 I wonder if I could take them for a quarter page. 300 00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:40,545 Is there a disaster or an earthquake somewhere? 301 00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,425 Something we can use as a hook? 302 00:13:42,525 --> 00:13:44,745 Tell you what, Ray, use your bloody Google 303 00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:45,865 and gimme a list of all the countries 304 00:13:45,966 --> 00:13:47,586 that have got red and white flags. 305 00:13:47,686 --> 00:13:48,706 - [Ron] Ron Grealy. 306 00:13:48,806 --> 00:13:50,306 - Ron Grealy, it's James White here 307 00:13:50,406 --> 00:13:52,026 from Music, Music, Music, Music. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 308 00:13:52,126 --> 00:13:54,826 - Yep, okay, well, what I'm actually calling about Ron 309 00:13:54,926 --> 00:13:56,906 is I've spotted your advertisement 310 00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,466 in the local leader there Ron 311 00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:00,906 and I hope you don't mind me saying so 312 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,426 but I actually thought it was a little drab. 313 00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:05,226 - Did you now? 314 00:14:05,326 --> 00:14:06,506 - I really, really did Ron. 315 00:14:06,606 --> 00:14:08,546 I thought it let you down, to be perfectly Francis 316 00:14:08,646 --> 00:14:09,426 and I hope you don't mind 317 00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:13,346 but could you just check your inbox please Ron. 318 00:14:13,446 --> 00:14:14,506 - Yeah. 319 00:14:14,606 --> 00:14:18,346 - I've just emailed you an ad that I've taken the liberty 320 00:14:18,446 --> 00:14:20,866 of mocking up for you which I think you're gonna find 321 00:14:20,966 --> 00:14:22,666 far more effective as a means. 322 00:14:22,766 --> 00:14:25,146 - For sound tax advice, Ron Grealy. 323 00:14:25,246 --> 00:14:26,546 - There you go. 324 00:14:26,646 --> 00:14:29,186 - And the woman's legs, what would they be about? 325 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,266 - You know, that would be your logo, Ron, 326 00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:33,866 it's something to catch the eye. 327 00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:35,266 - Yeah, well, what do a woman's legs 328 00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:36,906 got to do with tax advice? 329 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,866 - All right, well, why don't we put across the top there, 330 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:42,586 you know, in between the legs, you know, 331 00:14:42,687 --> 00:14:45,107 not getting enough at tax time? 332 00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:47,207 You with me? 333 00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:49,727 - That's not bad actually? 334 00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:51,227 Sorry, you said your name. 335 00:14:51,327 --> 00:14:53,027 - Yes I did, it's James. 336 00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:56,867 - Well, it kinda gives me a sorta sexy image, doesn't it? 337 00:14:56,967 --> 00:14:57,907 - It really, really does Ron 338 00:14:58,007 --> 00:14:59,707 and that's actually what I was going for. 339 00:14:59,807 --> 00:15:03,027 - Maybe you could stick a picture of my face 340 00:15:03,127 --> 00:15:05,647 between the legs, smiling and looking there, eh? 341 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,867 - Yes, yes. 342 00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,227 Some women might not go for that Ron. 343 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:12,987 That might actually cost you some female clients but. 344 00:15:13,087 --> 00:15:15,447 - Still, be rather funny though wouldn't it eh? 345 00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:19,627 - It'd be hysterical Ron, it really, really would. 346 00:15:19,727 --> 00:15:20,707 - All right, I'll tell you what, 347 00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:23,027 why don't you, you know, send me a copy of your magazine and some guff 348 00:15:23,127 --> 00:15:25,227 about the rates and circulation stuff all right? 349 00:15:25,327 --> 00:15:27,187 - Absolutely too easy there, Ron. 350 00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:28,467 Look, actually what I'll do for you 351 00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:30,267 is I'll put aside a quarter page ad for you now 352 00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,667 because this thing is really starting to fill up 353 00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,667 and I'll get all that literature out to you 354 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,147 and we can firm it up in the next day or two. 355 00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:37,548 - All right, I'll think about it, okay? 356 00:15:37,648 --> 00:15:38,428 - Yep, have a think about it 357 00:15:38,528 --> 00:15:40,148 but I have put that quarter page aside for you. 358 00:15:40,248 --> 00:15:41,068 - All right, I'll have a look at it. 359 00:15:41,168 --> 00:15:41,908 - Yep, have a look at it 360 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,068 and we'll firm it up in the next day or two. 361 00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:43,908 Nice talking to you Ron. 362 00:15:44,008 --> 00:15:44,908 - All right, thanks mate. 363 00:15:45,008 --> 00:15:46,508 - Hopefully this is the start of a wonderful. 364 00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:48,788 (dial tone beeping) 365 00:15:48,888 --> 00:15:51,448 (Don laughing) 366 00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:54,828 Oh dearie me. 367 00:15:54,928 --> 00:15:56,928 Oh, up she comes. 368 00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:06,048 Weighing approximately 75 kilograms, dirty Ron Grealy. 369 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,048 (phone dinging) 370 00:16:24,528 --> 00:16:27,388 (upbeat music) 371 00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:30,328 What are you doing for money, Ray? 372 00:16:31,249 --> 00:16:33,069 - Sickness benefits. 373 00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:34,749 - Oh yeah, jeez. 374 00:16:34,849 --> 00:16:36,509 This new bloody government, I tell you what. 375 00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:38,109 Interest rates, sickness benefits. 376 00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:40,209 It's all back on isn't it, huh? 377 00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:43,449 You still on the sickness benefits? 378 00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:46,429 - Yes. 379 00:16:46,529 --> 00:16:48,529 - What causes chronic fatigue? 380 00:16:50,089 --> 00:16:51,549 - Leslie. 381 00:16:51,649 --> 00:16:53,649 - Leslie the wife? 382 00:16:54,569 --> 00:16:56,589 Daughter? 383 00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:58,689 - This is her Myspace page. 384 00:17:04,049 --> 00:17:06,049 - Well, she can't be yours, she's hot. 385 00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:09,349 Who's the Lieutenants of God? 386 00:17:09,449 --> 00:17:11,449 - Don't know. 387 00:17:11,929 --> 00:17:14,829 - Hi brothers and sisters in Jesus. 388 00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:17,649 It's Leslie, and the Lord, our savior. 389 00:17:18,729 --> 00:17:21,429 Here's a short video of one of our beautiful prayer sessions 390 00:17:21,529 --> 00:17:23,749 down at the Lieutenants of God Ministry. 391 00:17:23,849 --> 00:17:28,269 So, come join me soon and bask in the happy, happy light 392 00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:30,370 of the Lord, yeah (laughs). 393 00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:36,130 (people shouting) (upbeat rock music) 394 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:03,910 - I've been to sales conferences like that, Ray. 395 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:06,010 Ray? - Hm? 396 00:18:07,530 --> 00:18:10,170 - How'd you go with those red and white flags? 397 00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:14,910 - Indonesia, Holland, Peru, Singapore. 398 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,790 - Peru? 399 00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:18,890 Peru, Peru, Peru. 400 00:18:23,531 --> 00:18:28,011 Oh, 12 dead, dozens injured in a Peruvian train crash. 401 00:18:28,931 --> 00:18:30,631 I mean, that's terrible for them obviously 402 00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:32,791 but, you know, life goes on. 403 00:18:32,891 --> 00:18:36,791 So, let's sucker up the cuisine guide for some Peruvian. 404 00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:39,911 Oh, the Lima Express. 405 00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:42,351 Hold onto your llamas, people, here I come. 406 00:18:42,451 --> 00:18:45,551 (phone beeping) 407 00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:46,591 (phone ringing) 408 00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,971 Just taking up a collection for your birthday. 409 00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:52,631 - How much has everyone else put in? 410 00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,771 - Oh, you know, 10 bucks. 411 00:18:55,691 --> 00:18:57,691 Shall I take it outta your pay? 412 00:18:58,451 --> 00:19:00,571 So that's 15.50. 413 00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:03,191 - [Blanca] Lima Express. 414 00:19:03,291 --> 00:19:05,231 - Is that mine host, Blanca? 415 00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:07,711 - Yes, Blanca, Lima Express. 416 00:19:07,811 --> 00:19:10,311 - Blanca, it's Keriac Amenas here from Footy Inquest 417 00:19:10,411 --> 00:19:12,411 and yes he is my cousin. 418 00:19:14,211 --> 00:19:18,071 But what I'm actually calling you about today Blanca is, hello? 419 00:19:18,172 --> 00:19:20,172 - Yes. 420 00:19:20,772 --> 00:19:22,752 - Blanca, look, I was extremely moved 421 00:19:22,852 --> 00:19:25,392 and really quite upset to be honest with you 422 00:19:25,492 --> 00:19:26,832 about the bit in the news today 423 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,792 about the train crash in Peru. 424 00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:30,472 - No, no, no, the lamb, the lamb. 425 00:19:30,572 --> 00:19:33,152 - I hope you personally haven't lost anyone close, 426 00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:33,952 have you Blanca? 427 00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:34,792 - Where you from? 428 00:19:34,892 --> 00:19:35,872 - Footy Inquest Magazine. 429 00:19:35,972 --> 00:19:37,272 It's a high quality weekly wrap up 430 00:19:37,372 --> 00:19:38,592 of all things football. 431 00:19:38,692 --> 00:19:39,432 - What is this? 432 00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:40,792 - Look, I understand you're a busy woman Blanca 433 00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:42,272 so I will come straight to the point, 434 00:19:42,372 --> 00:19:45,712 as a mark of my respect and a gesture towards the. 435 00:19:45,812 --> 00:19:47,912 - Table, table two, table two. 436 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,992 - Okay, look I'm offering a 10% discount 437 00:19:50,092 --> 00:19:52,512 to all Peruvian businesses who take out an ad 438 00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:54,152 in Footy Inquest Magazine 439 00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:55,992 so that anyone who cuts out that ad 440 00:19:56,092 --> 00:19:57,632 and brings it in to your restaurant, 441 00:19:57,732 --> 00:20:00,872 you, Blanca, donate 20% of the cost of that meal 442 00:20:00,972 --> 00:20:03,992 to the Peruvian Disaster Relief Fund. 443 00:20:04,092 --> 00:20:05,032 - How much you want? 444 00:20:05,132 --> 00:20:06,392 - Well, that depends because, 445 00:20:06,492 --> 00:20:09,312 well a full page ad is $1500. 446 00:20:09,412 --> 00:20:11,072 - How much for the small one? 447 00:20:11,173 --> 00:20:12,353 - A 16th of a page? 448 00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:14,453 That's $120. 449 00:20:14,973 --> 00:20:15,673 - [Blanca] Okay. 450 00:20:15,773 --> 00:20:16,593 - The 16th of a page? 451 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,513 - Okay. 452 00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:21,473 - Terrific, well, I think that's a wonderful gesture Blanca. 453 00:20:21,573 --> 00:20:23,033 - The fucking lamb! 454 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:25,473 - And, look, would you like any special message 455 00:20:25,573 --> 00:20:27,393 in the ad for the people in Peru 456 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,153 who are suffering, you know, so badly 457 00:20:29,253 --> 00:20:29,993 at this point in time. 458 00:20:30,093 --> 00:20:30,913 - No, no, you do, okay? 459 00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,033 You do, I have to go now, okay? 460 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:33,873 Bye bye. 461 00:20:33,973 --> 00:20:35,433 - Okay, bye now Blanca, bye now. 462 00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:37,533 - [Blanca] The fucking lamb! 463 00:20:40,253 --> 00:20:42,613 - That is better than a root, right? 464 00:20:43,853 --> 00:20:45,853 Better than the last one I had anyway? 465 00:20:47,493 --> 00:20:50,193 God I love small business. 466 00:20:50,293 --> 00:20:52,293 I mean, isn't that exciting? 467 00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:55,133 Doesn't that make you feel good to be alive? 468 00:20:56,653 --> 00:20:59,253 (upbeat music) 469 00:21:15,614 --> 00:21:17,614 Where's me Kit Kats? 470 00:21:18,614 --> 00:21:20,614 - All right, Janet, how does this sound? 471 00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:24,554 Autumn traditionally signifies change. 472 00:21:24,654 --> 00:21:28,834 It's a time of romance, open fires, and mulled wine. 473 00:21:28,934 --> 00:21:33,094 This year, however, it signifies a trumpet price blowout 474 00:21:34,094 --> 00:21:37,794 because as the leaves turn brown and fall from the trees, 475 00:21:37,894 --> 00:21:41,234 so do the prices at Wilson Woodwind and Brass. 476 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:42,594 No, I have to change that bit 477 00:21:42,694 --> 00:21:45,354 because that sounds like the prices are turning brown 478 00:21:45,454 --> 00:21:47,354 as well as falling, anyway. 479 00:21:47,454 --> 00:21:49,454 - [Don] Jesus, what's happened here? 480 00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:53,874 - For as long as I can remember, autumn has always been 481 00:21:53,974 --> 00:21:57,174 the best time to buy a new woodwind or brass instrument. 482 00:21:58,054 --> 00:21:59,874 Perhaps it's the crispness of the air 483 00:21:59,974 --> 00:22:02,404 that makes the flute resonate, the oboe sing, 484 00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:04,735 and the trumpet ring so true. 485 00:22:05,895 --> 00:22:07,915 Or perhaps it's the warm glow of brass 486 00:22:08,015 --> 00:22:10,155 in the soft-filtered autumn sunlight 487 00:22:10,255 --> 00:22:11,835 that turns a man's thoughts 488 00:22:11,935 --> 00:22:14,495 to top-of-the-range trombones and bugles. 489 00:22:15,615 --> 00:22:18,475 Whatever the reason, autumn is the perfect time 490 00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:22,195 for a trumpet price blowout, as it currently taking place 491 00:22:22,295 --> 00:22:24,355 at Wilson Woodwind and Brass 492 00:22:24,455 --> 00:22:27,195 and with Janet Wilson's generous five percent discount 493 00:22:27,295 --> 00:22:29,295 to all Railway Union members, 494 00:22:29,895 --> 00:22:32,675 there's never been a better time for a rail worker 495 00:22:32,775 --> 00:22:34,855 to blow his own trumpet. 496 00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:38,395 That's it. 497 00:22:38,495 --> 00:22:40,495 - That's beautiful, Ray. 498 00:22:41,335 --> 00:22:43,335 It's poetry. 499 00:22:44,735 --> 00:22:47,995 And you've got the trumpets in there 500 00:22:48,095 --> 00:22:51,335 and the bugles and the whole blowout thing works so well. 501 00:22:56,256 --> 00:22:58,816 You've got a lovely touch, Ray. 502 00:23:00,816 --> 00:23:02,816 It's quite sensual. 503 00:23:05,776 --> 00:23:07,776 - Oh. 504 00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:11,596 And Janet, would you be at all interested 505 00:23:11,696 --> 00:23:15,116 in buying another advertisement in the next issue, 506 00:23:15,216 --> 00:23:19,416 perhaps a smaller one or is it just not worth the bother? 507 00:23:21,256 --> 00:23:24,156 - Why don't you call me in a couple of weeks 508 00:23:24,256 --> 00:23:26,036 and we'll see how this one goes 509 00:23:26,136 --> 00:23:28,136 and take it from there. 510 00:23:29,536 --> 00:23:30,556 - Thank you Janet. 511 00:23:30,656 --> 00:23:32,656 - Thank you Ray (chuckles). 512 00:23:34,536 --> 00:23:35,876 Bye. 513 00:23:35,976 --> 00:23:36,716 Bye. 514 00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:38,816 - Goodbye. 515 00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:42,956 - What's your story with the toilet? 516 00:23:43,056 --> 00:23:45,036 - What? 517 00:23:45,136 --> 00:23:47,136 - Why didn't you flush? 518 00:23:48,816 --> 00:23:51,596 - Well I saw that you hadn't so I thought 519 00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,037 it must be some sort of water-conservation policy 520 00:23:54,137 --> 00:23:56,357 so I just left mine on top of yours. 521 00:23:56,457 --> 00:23:58,737 - No, no, no, no, no, no. 522 00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:00,997 I don't wanna hear that. 523 00:24:01,097 --> 00:24:03,837 Flushing is the policy here at all times. 524 00:24:03,937 --> 00:24:07,217 I was actually distracted earlier so. 525 00:24:08,337 --> 00:24:11,277 In future, all parcels from that department 526 00:24:11,377 --> 00:24:13,737 go express post to Werribee. 527 00:24:15,257 --> 00:24:15,997 Okay? 528 00:24:16,097 --> 00:24:18,097 - Yes. 529 00:24:21,297 --> 00:24:22,317 - Happy birthday. 530 00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:24,737 (cork pops) 531 00:24:25,617 --> 00:24:28,217 (upbeat music) 532 00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:32,797 ♪ The Sydney Harbor Bridge ♪ 533 00:24:32,897 --> 00:24:35,677 ♪ It lights up on New Years Eve ♪ 534 00:24:35,777 --> 00:24:40,797 ♪ Revealing to the world just what Aussies can achieve ♪ 535 00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:41,637 ♪ Snowy mountain ♪ 536 00:24:41,737 --> 00:24:43,737 Can you believe that is only 6.50. 537 00:24:44,857 --> 00:24:46,857 Oh, I nearly forgot. 538 00:24:47,818 --> 00:24:50,738 That's 15.50. 539 00:24:52,298 --> 00:24:54,298 And not a word to the tax man. 540 00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:59,398 ♪ It's no wonder my ♪ 541 00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:01,598 How much are the sickness benefits? 542 00:25:01,698 --> 00:25:04,558 - $537 and 70 cents a fortnight. 543 00:25:04,658 --> 00:25:06,658 - Jeez, that's all right, isn't it eh? 544 00:25:09,778 --> 00:25:11,598 Think Marcus Good or James White 545 00:25:11,698 --> 00:25:13,158 might have to put in a claim. 546 00:25:13,258 --> 00:25:15,858 They've been feeling a bit fatigued lately (laughs). 547 00:25:17,218 --> 00:25:19,638 ♪ Rest upon our laurels ♪ 548 00:25:19,738 --> 00:25:22,798 ♪ Railway crossin' ♪ 549 00:25:22,898 --> 00:25:27,898 So come on Ray, journo with The Aus, published author. 550 00:25:30,138 --> 00:25:32,138 What are you really doing here? 551 00:25:36,138 --> 00:25:38,038 - My psychologist thought it was an important step 552 00:25:38,138 --> 00:25:40,138 in addressing my depression. 553 00:25:41,779 --> 00:25:44,019 It's called cognitive behavior therapy. 554 00:25:46,339 --> 00:25:48,339 It's confronting your fears, 555 00:25:49,019 --> 00:25:51,239 like standing on a train full of strangers 556 00:25:51,339 --> 00:25:53,359 and shouting out the names of the stations 557 00:25:53,459 --> 00:25:55,459 as you stop at them. 558 00:26:02,779 --> 00:26:04,679 ♪ Turned this land from barren waste ♪ 559 00:26:04,779 --> 00:26:06,559 ♪ To an all-out paradise ♪ 560 00:26:06,659 --> 00:26:07,399 So. 561 00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,599 ♪ It's no wonder my ♪ 562 00:26:09,699 --> 00:26:11,859 Should I come in tomorrow? 563 00:26:14,099 --> 00:26:16,739 ♪ Quite as nice ♪ 564 00:26:29,859 --> 00:26:31,679 ♪ Turned this land from barren waste ♪ 565 00:26:31,779 --> 00:26:34,439 ♪ To an all-out paradise ♪ 566 00:26:34,539 --> 00:26:36,359 ♪ It's no wonder my grands plopped here ♪ 567 00:26:36,460 --> 00:26:41,200 ♪ 'Cause there's nowhere, nowhere, nowhere ♪ 568 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:46,240 ♪ Quite as nice ♪ 569 00:26:46,340 --> 00:26:49,340 ♪ Not quite as nice ♪ 570 00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:53,940 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0